Friday, January 20, 2006

So Sad

I discovered this website this morning: It chronicles the struggle of a family to get their 3 year old son back home with them after the area DFCS (Dept. of Family and Child Services?) took him and placed him in a foster home. This happened because the boy's baby brother died after a terrible accident. I do not know the details of it, but one news report said that he died from having a fractured skull after his mother accidentally dropped him. As I heard that, a flood of emotions came over me for these parents - this mother. I do not need to imagine what she is feeling right now, I know.

When my baby girl (now 2 yo) was 4 weeks old, I accidentally dropped her. She was in a homemade baby sling and as I adjusted it, she dropped out onto my hard kitchen floor. I sensed something was really wrong when after about 30 seconds of extreme wailing, she instantly quieted and wanted to go to sleep and not be roused. I raced her to the ER where she had a MRI (not a pleasant experience for either of us). After waiting (and waiting and waiting) the doctor came in and told me that she had a fractured skull. I cannot tell you the amount of sorrow, distress and GUILT that I felt about this. The kicker was when the hospital's social worker came in and informed me that she would have to report the incident to Child Protective Services. She assured me that this was required anytime there was an injury of this nature on someone less than 2 years old and that she was not reporting that there appeared to be any reason to believe abuse was involved. Abuse! The idea that someone could actually think that this happened willfully horrified me!

I spent the night in the hospital with her (for observation) and we were able to return home the next day. Thankfully, an x-ray 6 weeks later showed that the fracture had healed. Praise GOD! The doctor could not even SEE where the fracture had been! It wasn't until after that point that I could start letting go of the guilt I had for allowing this to happen to my dear child.

So, I read about this other family in Georgia. Not only is this mother feeling this guilt, but it is exponentiated by the fact that her baby died. The loss must be incredible! Then her case is labeled a "non-accident" and her 3 year old son is taken away from her, too. Since this time, the family has been allowed 1 hour of supervised visitation with him and cannot see him for like 2 more weeks! They do not know where he is other than in a foster home and have heard that he is depressed, not eating and running a fever. I know how I would feel if I were in this other mother's shoes. I have been too close and I shudder to think of the what if's. What if my precious baby had died or suffer brain damage? What if our home life had been investigated and our other children taken away? I thank God that He protected us during this trying time!

My hearts aches for this mother especially! Even though I do not know the details of their circumstances, I do know that they need prayers. This mother (her name is Rachel) needs to be blanketed in the warmth of God's love through our prayers. They pain she must be going through has got to be awful!

1 comment:

Kelly Ling - said...

Trish - I just wanted to thank you for your kind and sensitive blog about our family. You see, I am Rachel's aunt and I know first hand what this family is going through. We live only 20 mins apart.

Through all of this (which we feel God is leading us through), the stories from other people in our area and around the nation about how they have been victimized by CPS, DFCS, or any other acronym are incredible. We will be posting some of them soon on our site.

One story is about a family who lost their 2 year old after the father fell on top of her while he was carrying her into the house. DFCS determined that her injuries didn't match the story and has since arrested the father and charged him with murder and child abuse.

Another story is about an African American mother who lost custody of her child for 18 months and whose son in only now, after two years, in the custody of his grandmother. She was arrested and thrown in jail with a $100,000 bond. Her crime was that she took him into the hospital after he ran a fever after a vaccination which made him very ill. Turns out, after all this time, that the fractures the hospital found on him were due to Brittle Bone Disease which had not yet been diagnosed, but was known to be genetic. Also, it has recently been proven that the hospital and doctor falsefied the x-rays. Awful, awful, awful! Her story can be seen at

We are praying God's protective hand on Jack while he is in foster care. Just today, our local newspaper posted a story of a 3-year old boy who was found murdered by his foster/adoptive mother. The head of DFCS says that the foster/adoptive family was a "model family". There are clearly some holes in the system.

The end of this long comment is to say that our family is in the fight for the long haul. Somebody, somewhere needs to step up to the fight for these poor children that are being placed in the system when there are family members who want to help and take care of them. I think if people would realize how much money is paid in federal and state funds to CPS and then the double dipping that goes on when a parent's wages are garnished to pay for their child's foster care - then things would start to happen. Follow the money!

Thanks again for your support. There is still much going on in our case and much to do.

Kelly Ling - Webmaster