"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
This was the key verse during my Thursday morning women's bible study. This was also the day when I forced myself to face the fact that I think Rachel is a colicky baby. I have been down this road before. My last baby, Abi, who is now almost 3 was a classic colicky baby. From about 6 weeks old to 3 months old she would get into a crying jag every evening for no apparent reason and nothing settled her. It was a long couple of months.
Rachel is a bit different. I think her problem is that she swallows a lot of air when she eats and is uncomfortably gassy. But I haven't figured out how to give her enough relief and sometimes she just cries and I am helpless to settle her. [sigh] She is only 4 weeks old and I worry she is going to be a baby that I can't take out anywhere for fear she will start screaming. I do not look forward to being trapped with her at home for several months until she matures past this. Perhaps my concerns are will not come to pass.
That verse from James has kept playing in my head. "Consider it pure JOY..." According to this, I should be joyful when my little blessing is screaming NOT frustrated. I keep asking God to teach me because I am having difficulty with this. The rest of the verse goes on to say that the testing of your faith develops perserverence. I do get that and I can see how life's struggles do just that, but what I can't seem to really understand is how to have that JOY in the midst of it. I am going to keep praying for God to teach me about joy. I want to really understand the joy of the Lord that is not dependent upon your circumstances unlike happiness which is dependent on your happenings.
Hopefully the ramblings of the sleep deprived mom make some sense. Rachel seems to have settled to sleep and I am off to grab some sleep of my own. Sweet dreams....