Sign of the Times!

Although there is not much activity happening in our pasture yet due to te fact that we are STILL waiting on our engineered septic system to be approved, our builder stopped by to introduce his son who will be assisting him and asked if he could place a sign in the yard. Now the neighbors will be fairly sure that we are not putting in a pond but BUILDING A NEW HOUSE. (Naw, I'm not getting excited!) Hopefully, within about a week there will be some REAL action happening in our yard!

Exhaustion

Exhausion seems to be my companion of late. There is so much going on and so much to get done! Not that this is unusual, but of late there has been more than the norm. I have been shorting my sleep to try and get more done and I do not think that it is really paying off. I feel like I am running on fumes and it is not fun. I am grumpy and seem to be out of the necessary patience it takes to be a mommy of four. I know somewhere I still have that patience, for God promises that, but right now I am too tired to dig it out of me!

This morning I was reminded of the verse, "I can to all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Philipians 4:13) I need to realize that I don't need to live my life through my own power. I need to be yielded to Christ and allow Him to be my source of power and strength. Perhaps He brings me to this point of exhaustion to remind me of that.

Another verse I was meditating on this morning is Matthew 6:33, "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things shall be given to you as well." The "things" the verse refers to are mentioned in the previous verses and are what to eat, what to drink, and what to wear, but I think these things can represent all of our daily worries. I need to remember that if we need it for our lives, it will be given to us. Instead of chasing after these needs, I need to be chasing after God. Seek HIM first, then what is important will fall into place. I think for me right now this means that I need to stop worrying about each thing on my to do list and how I am ever going to get them all done. Instead my focus needs to be on God and allow Him to direct me. I need to "run with perserverence the race marked out before me keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith." (Hebrews 12:2)

A recent scrapbook page I have created.
Journaling reads:
Patrick,I’m not sure when this began, but everytime I change your diaper, you squeeze the star on this toy that resides wrapped around the changing table so that it will play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star Perhaps because I smiled, you began saying,“That song make you happy?” I had to agree that it did- especially when you asked mes o sweetly. This became our diaper changing ritual You ARE a clever little boy and now when I scold you for being naughty, you begin singing“Twinkle Twinkle.”“That make you happy!”you will proclaim and assume that I will no longer feel any need to discipline you because your sweet song has made me so HAPPY.

The digital papers used here are from Doris Castle's Moon and Star's kit.

P.P.B.

Today I went to my Mom's bible study at church. We have just begun the study of Nehemiah who returned to Jerusalem to oversee it's rebuilding after it had lain in ruin. What is amazing is that a bunch of moms in Indiana living in the year 2005 can learn something from reading about a man living in the middle east thousands of years ago. Guess that's the magic of the bible! What really stood out to us today was the way Nehemiah went about his task. He began with prayer, planned out what he was going to do, and then was bold in his actions with the assurance that he was following what God had called him to do. We decided that we should all follow this plan:
1. Prayer
2. Planning
3. Boldness

How many times do I spend tons of time planning but neglect the others. I skip praying, therefore I am doing things "my way" instead of God's way, therefore I do not have boldness and assurance in my actions. Planning has to be the middle of a big ol' PPB sandwich - it needs to be surrounded by prayer and boldness to yield fruit.
So as I pack my hubby's PB & J each morning, I need to remember my PPB sandwich for myself as I meditate on my own plans for the day.

"P"- FEST 2005

"P"
is for Patrick
"P"
is for Pee Pee
"P"
is for.....well you get the idea.....

"P" is for "Patrick potty training!"

Exactly one week ago, after a discussion with Barry about cutting our grocery bill by cutting our diaper expenses in half, I informed Patrick that he was a big boy and no longer a baby and that he no longer wore diapers, but instead big boy underwear. I mean he IS 3 1/2 years old. It was time! Although this is my third adventure in potty training, I still feel like such a novice. I seems as though both of the girls took forever to train. I suppose that is because I would get frustrated and put them back in diapers or pull-ups. But this time, I decided things would be different. We were giving up diapers and there was no turning back....no matter what! This time I was armed with more knowledge than ever. I had consulted the new SuperNanny book and read "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" from cover to cover. I was ready - or so I thought.

DAY ONE: Monday. Much to my disappointment, when I informed Patrick that he was going to get to wear his new Thomas underwear, he threw himself on the floor and cried for a diaper. (sigh) So far, things were NOT going as planned. Although we had our share of accidents, we made it through Day 1. I purchased some "Nighttime Underwear" AKA Pull-ups so that I didn't have to add bed linens to my laundry duties as well as mid night disturbances.

DAY TWO: Tuesday. So much for hiding out at home. Abigail needed to go to the doctor, so we had to venture outside the safety of our four walls and put Patrick's pottying skills to the test right away wearing his non-absorbent Bob the Builder undies. I couldn't even count the number of times I asked, "Patrick, do you need to go pee pee in the potty? You know they have a potty here." When we were close to leaving, he decided to take me up on my offer and he ACTUALLY went in the doctor's office potty! Woo hoo!!!! Now delirious with confidence, I decided to take advantage of the beautiful, sunny, warm weather and take the children for a picnic lunch in the park. During playtime on the equipment there, Elizabeth brought Patrick to me saying that he said he had to go potty. I was prepared with the little potty in the van and rushed him to use it, but it was already too late. Oh well, I had a change of clothing.

DAY THREE: Wednesday. Due to the fact that April 15th (tax day) was quickly approaching and my usual procrastination and disorganization with my paperwork and receipts and the fact that I had my appointment with my accountant the next day, this was my frantic tax prep day. Not a good thing to mix with potty training when you want to remain patient. By the end of the day, I was stressed-out from the normal daily motherhood duties along with the extra pee pee clean up and laundry. Daddy came to the rescue and took his daughters out for a nice evening while Patrick, tired and probably stress-out himself, went to bed early, allowing me to finish my accounting duties.

DAY FOUR: Thursday. All the children went over to Grammy and Gramps' house while I met with our accountant. "Have potty - Will travel!" is my new slogan. We took the little potty with us, but Patrick never did use it. Fortunately, there were no accidents either. Since we were going to go out for lunch afterwards, I did force him to try to go potty before we left. Patrick chose Grammy's "pink bathroom" but did more playing that peeing; trying my patience. At the restaurant, I asked him several times if he needed to go potty, but he would become very agitated and tell me "NO!" so I didn't force the issue - that is until he completely wet his pants (and socks and shoes) Oh well, so much for day 4! I decided to reread part of "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day."

DAY FIVE: Friday. Patrick's Pull-ups (nighttime underwear) have superheroes on them. His favorites are the Spiderman ones with the cute smiling spiders that disappear when the pull-up gets wet. Each night when we tuck him in, we remind him to "keep his spiders" by keeping his pants dry. This morning, once again, he came downstairs without his spiders. :( Today we incorporated "practices." This came from the "Toilet Training in a Day" book. Every time Patrick has an accident (or an "intentional" Ü) he needs to practice walking quickly to the potty, pulling his pants down and sitting. He need to do this ten times while he is still in his wet pants. He doesn't really enjoy it so it works as a deterrent and a learning tool. I think we practiced about 100 times today! And after the THIRD poop in the pants I was DONE. The patience was spent and I was frustrated to say the least. Barry and I discussed our plan of action.

DAY SIX: Saturday. This afternoon Barry took the big girls out, Abi went down for a nap and Patrick and I were going to have an official "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" session. As I was gathering my supplies, Patrick, who was standing on a chair at the kitchen table, peed everywhere. I swear it looked to be a gallon of pee! I made him clean it up and do his practices. Then I continued my hunt for extra underwear. I know I bought 12 pair and have been doing laundry like a mad woman, but I could only scrounge one pair while I had several in the dryer. So we began. The premise of toilet training in a day is to get the child to drink a lot so therefore there are many opportunities for practice. Salty snacks are given as "dry pants" treats to encourage this. We began by toilet training a wetting baby doll. The doll peed on the little potty and Patrick emptied it into the toilet and even got to eat her "potty candy" since his pants were dry. We went through several hours of dry pants checks and training the doll. The doll even had an "accident" and had to go through practices, with Patrick's help, of course. BUT Patrick didn't have to go. He sat on the potty, but no luck. Hmmm... that's not how the book says it should go! I kept pushing the drinks. We had Kool-Aid, Coke, juice....I even had him licking salt and sugar straight to get him thirsty enough to drink more. After about 5 hours, we had only two pees. Finally, after dinner, I had given up and we were going to get ready for bed. As I was giving the kitchen floor a quick mop, Patrick said he didn't feel good, his tummy hurt. (Note to self: perhaps feeding your child straight sugar is not such a good idea.) Not 30 seconds later I walked into the living room to take him upstairs to sit on the potty and go to bed and I discovered him red-faced saying "poo-poo." UGH!!! He was poopy and wet. So up we went to the tub to clean up and went through ANOTHER 10 practices going to the potty. And I am feeling like my child is pretty dense or pig-headed or something! A day spent in futility.....(sigh).

DAY SEVEN: Sunday morning. As I was getting ready for church, I saw Patrick awaken and immediately walked him to the potty. He cried and complained about that fact, but I insisted. He sat there on the toilet looking forlorn, when all of a sudden he perked up and said "pee-pee!" and went in the potty. He had kept his spiders all night, too! I decided that I didn't want Patrick's Sunday School teachers to have to deal with wet pants, so I put him in pull-ups. He went potty before he left. I picked him up after 1st service and he went potty in the ladies bathroom with me before getting a donut and going to Cherub Choir. Then I took him again after Sunday School and he peed again. We went out to eat at Golden Corral and he went there as well. We were on a roll!!!! He went potty 3 times at Grandma and Grandpa's house that afternoon and only got wet pants due to poor aiming. (which is a whole 'nother issue!) That evening he actually on his own came in from playing outside and went potty. It's a P-fest miracle!!!

DAY EIGHT: Monday morning. P-Fest has been going strong for a week in our household. Patrick got up and came downstairs to see me. I asked him if he had sat on the potty yet and he said yes but had a funny look on his face. I asked him if he still had to go and he said yes. We went upstairs to the big potty at his request. He put the potty seat on, pulled down his PJ pants and had his hands on his pull-ups (which DID still have their spiders!) when he got this really strange look on his face. I ask him if he was peeing and he just started bawling. He was SO distraught at peeing his pants. Not that I in any way find joy in my children's sadness, but inside I was jumping for JOY! My little guy actually cares about keeping his pants dry! We had a perfectly dry day with the exception of a sneaky poo at nap time. I think we have definitely turned a corner!

DAY NINE: Tuesday. Big sister Anna's birthday. Patrick woke up without his spiders, but still went potty as soon as he got up. We had a very busy, on-the-go day, but Patrick wore his big boy underwear and kept them dry ALL day. His accomplishments included using his little potty at Grammy and Gramps' house AND emptying it himself (which totally impressed Grammy), peeing AND pooping in the big potty. Gotta love it! For dinner we went out to eat at Don Pablos. I reminded Patrick that there was a potty there and eventually he decided that he had to go and we checked it out. He must have thought it was pretty cool because he informed me 3 more times that he had to go potty within the next 20 minutes. Twice I gave in and took him because he was quite convincing, but after the second dry trip (except for the wild, soapy handwashing), I had decided Patrick was playing me. That evening Patrick even got up out of bed to go potty on his own.

So, I believe P-Fest 2005 may be coming to a close. I say this with much happiness, but it is a little bittersweet as I realize that a chapter in my little boy's life has also come to a close. Saying goodbye to diapers is like saying goodbye to his babyhood. Now he is officially a little boy. Of course, no matter how big and mature he gets, he will always be that precious baby of mine in my heart.

Vision!

During the season of Lent this year, our church is studying the book "Following at a Distance" by Kay Dunham. What this means is that the pastors are basing their series of sermons on the chapters of the book and many of the adult Sunday School classes such as ours, are studying the book as well.

This week's chapter was titled, "Faith vs. Fear." As we were discussing this yesterday, there was something that really struck me. The author discussed having a "faith vision." To be honest, I can't really remember what the author said, but our class' discussion brought up the the book "Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things, " which is about 25 people who made a difference in this world because they had a vision. This struck a chord with me because I have had visions. But unfortunately, they are cloudy, as though God wants me to know something is out there for our family, but we are not yet ready for Him to reveal it due to my own immaturity in my faith.

I do know within my being that He has plans for this family. Thee is some sort of family ministry that He has planned for us. I believe our property/locations plays a role in this because He brought us here for a reason and that our family's passions and giftings play a role in it, as well. Barry has leadership and professionality as well as a love for photography, technology, audio and video. I have a passion for digital art (that was unleased through my digital scrapbooking hobby) and as Barry puts it, I AM a computer geek. Elizabeth at the age of 11 now, has been determined for several years that she wants to be a professional photographer. Lately, she has shared what type (freelance, landscape). She also has a passion for art and would like to be more of a computer geek (if only her mom would share the computer more!). Anna, now age 7, has told me for at least 3 to 4 years that she wants to grow up to be an artist. She, too, has a passion for art and has a definite gift. I am going to bet that both Patrick an Abi will have giftings that that will work well with the rest of the family's.

So now, I need to pray for God to reveal His plan for us. I believe that we are on the right path. We are in a season of preparation and training. I just want to make sure that I am helping the children to be prepared through their education.

The other thing that we discussed in our Sunday School class that I felt was really important for me to remember and put into practice was Pike's Place Fish Market. This is a fish market in Seatle that decided they were going to be different and really relate to each other and customers in a positive way. They will not affirm any negative thinking and choose to think the best of people and therefore this perception has become a reality. I was suddenly hit with the fact that I am SO negative with my children. I think negatively of them and therefore have low expectations and therefore that is what I get from them. I need to have a positive vision of who they are and what they are becoming. As our book discussed, most things we do are accomplished 90% ecause of our mental attitude and only 10% because of our physical actions.

I am still digesting this and praying that God teaches me through this.

Be Transformed

"Do not be conformed any longer to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is. His good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2

When I read this verse, I get excited by the thought of "being transformed by the renewing of my mind." I think that this is a continual process. My life is a continual transformation. My goal and my hope is that I am transforming into Christ. This is what the being an active, growing Christian is.
So how does this process work according to this verse?
First, we are not to be conformed to the pattern of this world. God's ways contradict the world's ways. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD . "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9 We need to seek God for our wisdom. It doesn't come from other people or popular culture like books or television.
Next, we need "renew our minds." How do we do this? By earnestly seeking God's wisdom through the reading and studying of his Word and consistent and continual prayer.
According to this verse, the result of doing this is the ability to discern what God's will for our lives is. To be honest, sometimes I struggle a bit with this. I am confident that I am, for the most part, traveling down God's narrow path. The direction that my life is going is what God wants for me to do His will. But sometimes, I struggle with the unknowns. I feel like there is something else out there that He has in store for me and my family and it is just out of reach. I can't quite see what it is. I find this exciting and frustrating at the same time. Frustrating because I fear that I am missing something that God is trying to tell me - the direction that He is pointing. Then I doubt whether or not I am truly renewing my mind. Perhaps I am just caught of in this world's thinking and it is blinding me to God's will.
But the greatest reward for his effort is being in the will of God. As this verse describes that it is "good, pleasing, and perfect." True happiness is being in the center of God's will.

First Place

I have gotten out of the habit of journaling here. It has been months since I have make an entry.

I thought I would discuss something new I have been doing to improve my life. I should back up. Back in August, my back went out. I have had back pain before, but never to the point that I could not even walk. It was a crummy Tuesday evening and both my 2 year old son and my 7 year old daughter were sick with the flu which included throwing up and vomiting. Pleasant! My oldest had already had it over the weekend and my baby girl was totally grumpy - probably from teething pain. I was on my own with the children as my husband was in Alabama on business. My daughter began to get sick again and was heaving into a pan while she sat on the couch. I got up to comfort her and pull her hair out of her face and something in my back seemed to give out. Throughout the evening, my back just got worse and worse until I could not carry the baby and could barely even walk with great pain. I told my 10 year old that I was going to lay the baby down (she was screaming) and lay down myself for a few moments and see if my back would feel better. Not soon after this, Elizabeth came upstairs to tell me that Patrick had just thrown up all over the chair downstairs. I went to get up and couldn't because my back was in so much pain. It was as if my back could not lift the top half of my body. I had to have my 10 year old daughter clean up her little brother's puke! She ended up putting Patrick to bed and Anna crawled into my bed with her pan. THEN, I got sick as well. Because I had stuff coming out both ends, I couldn't just stay in bed and throw up into a trash can. So, I had to painfully crawl to the bathroom and hoist myself onto the toilet so I could have diarrhea and throw up into the trash can at the same time. Thankfully it was bedtime for all by this time and Elizabeth helped. She even slept in the hall so she caught keep an ear to Patrick. Anna and I kept getting sick all night. She in the pan and I after crawling in agony to the bathroom. When the baby woke to nurse and fuss, Anna had to pick her up for me and bring her into the bad. What a miserable night! The next day I called my parents and they came over and helped with the kids and I stayed flat on my back all day. I am so thankful that they were able to do this for me.

I went into all that detail, because what I realized through this is that it wouldn't have been so bad if my back had not given out and my back gave out because I am hauling around too much excess weight on my body. I believe that this whole episode was a wake up call from God. A kick in the butt, so to speak. For years, I have seen my weight steadily creeping upward, but have just been too busy to concern myself over it. I eat how I want to eat. God was saying NOW is the time to concern yourself over this. I know one of my purposes in life is caring for my children and for the first time ever, I was physically unable to do so. That was a horrible feeling that I hope I never have to go through again. What made it bad, is that I know that it was caused by my excess weight which is a direct result of my poor eating and exercise habits. It is one thing to be knocked off your feet by circumstances that are out of your control, but another to allow your own actions (sin) to cause it. I have been a poor steward of the body God has given me.

About this same time, a dear friend of mine told me she was starting a program called First Place. She didn't say any more except that if I knew of anyone interested in it to pass the info along. I had heard of this years ago. The program focuses on caring for our bodies, losing weight if necessary, by giving God first place in your life. The "diet" is eating normal healthy food using the American Dietetic and Diabetic exchanges as guidelines. And asks you to commit to prayer, bible study, scripture memory, exercise and the eating plan. Because I have gone through gestational diabetes with several of my pregnancies, I am very familiar with the diabetic exchanges. I was probably my healthiest and fittest ever when I had to follow them! Although I have the will power to follow this type of diet for the sake of the health of my unborn child, I have trouble when I am doing it for the sake of just my health. When God, knocked me off my feet with my back troubles, I realized that I need to lose this weight and be healthy for more than just myself. God has given me the job of raising these children for Him and I can't do it flat on my back in bed or even in a worse health situation.

But isn't God's timing perfect? I began the First Place program in September. During the 12 weeks I have been doing it, I have become more fit, conscious of my poor eating habits and how I am teaching these to my children and I have lost 16 pounds!

To get myself to a healthy weight, I should probably lose about 80 pounds total. I am nearly a forth of the way there and I estimate that it should take me about a year total to do this. Even then, I will always have to guard what I put into my mouth and choose to nourish my body with good food. This is a lifelong commitment to God because I want to be the best that I can be to do His will.

Clutter Weakness!

My stress level lately has been high. This is unusual for me. I am usually pretty laid back and I can let most problems roll off my back so to speak. Recently I seem to get irritated with day to day living. It seems ridiculous to me, but it's the little things that put me over the edge and cause me to lose my patience. I have determined that most of this boils down to the fact that I am living in a cluttered chaos. Every aspect of my life is cluttered. This is most apparent in my home. There is not a room, or even a small space in my home that is not cluttered. My home is filled with more stuff than it can adequately hold. Therefore, the important things get hidden by the superfluous. I am an out of sight out of mind kind of person so this isn't good. The simplest project or errand becomes a mountainous task because I cannot lay my hands on what I need for it. Oh I know that's around here somewhere. This results in a lot of frustration but not a lot of productivity.

I have prayed to God about this. He knows my weakness and has the power to change me and my situation. But here I still am - trapped in the mire of the environment I have created. I feel confident that if I could just clear out all of the clutter in my life and start fresh, things could be so different. I have learned where I DON'T want to be, and would not allow my home and my life to become cluttered like this again. But, I am here amidst my clutter and it is SO diffecult for me to rid myself of it. I feel like Christian in Pilgims Progress. He was so tired from carrying this huge weight on his back. The luggage he was hauling around was sin and when he reached the cross, he was finally able to put it down. This is me. I am lugging around this huge weight. I have not really looked at it as sin before. Why am I this way? Is it from not trusting enough that God will provide for my needs so that I must stockpile so that I can do it on my own. This may be part of it, but there must be something more.

My SIL and I were discussing this. Although we are different, she and I have similar struggles. I thank God for placing her into my life. What a blessing to have someone to share my difficulties and my faith with! She and I were discussing our frustrations that although we have prayed to God to change us, things have remained the same. I have questioned this many times in my own life and have come to the conclusion that perhaps I am not fully handing this situation over to God DAILY and that I have not shared this weakness of mine with anyone. Of course, anyone close to me sees that I am not a organized, efficient person, but I try very hard to hide how bad it really is. I am embarrassed! Perhaps God wants to use this situation to His glory. But what does this mean? Must I bare all?

Magic Kisses

I spent a large part of my lifetime totally unaware that I have the gift of magic kisses. This power did not surface until I had been a mother for about 2 years. One magical day, my daughter came to me with a boo boo, I kissed it and tada it was instantly better. How exciting to discover that God had given me such a wonderful gift! Once my daughter discovered that I had this amazing ability, she was not shy about coming to me for healing of all sorts of injuries from scraped knees to hurt feelings. I was all too happy to use this gift of magic kisses to come to her aid. Interestingly enough, I tried using this power on myself with no luck and I found only limited success using it on my husband. Although I offered, no one else around me even wanted me to share my healing magic kisses with them. They even had the nerve to give me strange looks for even suggesting it. Oh well! I do not understand why, but after a couple of years, my powers must have weakened because my kisses seemed to lose their effectiveness. Both my kisses and my hugs were still a comfort to my daughter, but they didn't have the same healing power. I guess I just had to face facts, my magic kisses were gone. :(

Then one day when my second daughter, Anna, was about 2 years old, my magic kisses came back! Anna was thrilled with my ability and soon was taking advantage of it on almost a daily basis. I was only happy to share my gift, as I did notice that my kisses had their greatest effect on her. To my disappointment, once again my kiss' strength diminished after a time. Oh, God IS a provider of wonderful gifts and on rare occasions, when they were most needed, I would once again be the bearer of magic kisses, but for the day to day boo boos, my daughters claimed they didn't work anymore. :(

Well, God is good! He has once again bestowed the healing power of magic kisses to me. My son, Patrick, now takes full advantage of this. Nearly every day this rambunctious two year old has taken a tumble or gotten a bump because his actions don't match his abilities. He will come to me with tears in his eyes, pleading for comfort. One kiss and tada he is all better and off once more to test his strength and dexterity. I know that it is the kisses that have this effect, because occasionally I will miss the exact spot that Patrick said needs healing. He is quick to correct me and carefully point to just the right spot so I can be sure I direct my kiss to his boo boo. If my aim is correct, my kiss works without fail. The scrape or bruise will still remain, but its pain has been removed.

Only God knows how long my magic kisses will be in effect. I am confident that God knows just when this mommy needs them and will generously provide. I know that even though, my son may in time discover that they do not work as well on him anymore, God will super-charge my kisses when they are really needed. I am looking forward, as well, to the time when my baby girl, Abigail (now 6 months old) will have the pleasure of discovering that her mom has this amazing ability to heal her pain with just the touch of her magic kiss!

"God has given gifts to each of you from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Manage them well so that God's generosity can flow through you." 1 Peter 4:10