Thursday, December 31, 2009

Closing out the year 2009

How can it be that a month has gone by since I have posted here? I feel like I just blinked and I have gone from Thanksgiving to the threshold of a new year. I guess that is the nature of life right now for me. There is much that fills my every day, especially around the holidays. That old adage must be true: Time DOES fly when you are having fun.

So, today is the last day of the year. I am thinking back to all that has happened in 2009:

We welcomed a new son into our family in February. Samuel is a joy and definitely adds to our lives. He has been so good about sleeping through the night from an early age and taking nice long naps. Something this mom is truly grateful for!

I officially turned the big 4-0 in March. I know some people have a really hard time with that, but for me, it is just a number. In my mind I still feel young although my body has been telling me otherwise, especially through that last pregnancy.

We have gone through a very difficult process of finding a new home church. It was a really hard to decide to leave our church home because our friends there are like family. But after years of struggling with certain things, especially those that affect our children, we knew that this was something we needed to do. After the painful process of church shopping, we have found a church to settle at for at least this season of our lives. It is very large, which is not something we especially wanted, but we are spiritually challenged on a weekly basis. Our children love it. Our oldest is very excited about the high school group there. It is nice that she is finding fun Christian kids to hang out with and growing in her faith at the same time. I am still struggling a bit because there are so many ways that I am attached to our old church. We have chosen to remain active there through bible study and the liturgical dance group that my girls and I belong to. It is a difficult thing to be pulled between two churches. If it weren't for the fact that we are so emotionally attached and vested into our old church, it would be much easier to just make a clean break. As hubby puts it, what we are doing feels like tearing off a bandaid extremely slowly. On the other hand, if we didn't have children, we probably would stay at our old church and continue to work to make it better. But we do have children and we need to do what we feel is the best for them. By the time things turn around at our old church, our older children will most likely be out of the nest. We want them excited enough about church that when they are not riding in our van on Sunday morning, they still have the self-motivation to get up and go. So, we pray and we follow God's leading, even if it causes us discomfort. I am hoping that the new year will bring peace in this area of my life.

So now, I am thinking ahead to what this new year has in store for us. I generally an not a maker of new year resolutions, but I am thinking about making an exception to that this year. The thing is, I know that there are some things I would like to change and improve on, but I am not 100% sure exactly WHAT I need to resolve to do to improve them. Well, let me clarify. I don't know what I can realistically resolve to do. If this were a land of magic and fairy dust, I would resolve to never have more than one load of laundry waiting to be taken care of, my house would always be clean and organized, I would take wonderful photos, download and process them on the computer and have them all backed up. Then I would complete as least 2 or 3 scrapbook pages a week. I would find time to complete a creative sewing project each week, as well. I would read everyday to my children and have plenty of time and patience for their lessons which would be planned out ahead of time for each week and be unique and fun and creative. I would creatively cook all of our meals from scratch very frugally. I would be so economical in my shopping that I could pay all of my bills each month with money left over. Of course, I would also become self controlled and lose that weight I need to shed by eating small portions of only healthy food and exercising daily. And, and, and...

Well, since I don't live in that land where all of my dreams magically come true, I have to think in terms of reality. There aren't enough hours in a day or enough energy in my being to accomplish all that I really desire. So, how does one pick and choose what is the most important. Generally, my plan is to try and do it all and then all of it gets done not so well. So, I am still trying to decide what wisely to resolve to make things better. My comfort is that one day, I will be in paradise with my Lord and I will be able to do all that I desire to do. Until then, I guess all I can do is the best that I can do and rely on Him for the rest.

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